» Jessica Garvin
No sooner did I finally sit down to eat………
Luckily I have a best friend who voluntarily [VOLUNTARILY] gave me her mcdouble. I must be pretty special if she shared her food with me. I love her
Last night, I went out for ice cream with my YoungLife leader. Until this point I had not seen her in 2 years - the amount of time it’s been since our YoungLife chapter dissolved, and she kinda just left. She didn’t answer texts or calls, and would barely acknowledge us in public. We felt abandoned.
Weeks prior to our ice cream date, I had been saying “I’ve got to call her.” I put it off until…. I saw her at our church.
I hugged her; a real genuine hug. It had been two years since I felt that.
We had our ice cream and sat outside for two hours, picking right up where we left off, and enjoying each other’s company for the first time in so long. It’s incredible how so much had changed, and so much times has passed. We’ve healed, thanks to lots of time and prayers and I am so thankful for that.
He works in mysterious ways.
How awful - when the person you’ve built your life around is suddenly no longer in it.
when your world falls apart, e.m (via regr0wn)
I decided on you, don’t you get that? I decided on you. I don’t want to go fucking other people and then walk around feeling thrilled and then sad, or empty, or whatever. I like the smell of your hair, and I like the sound of your voice, and I fucking decided on you.
i liked you because when you spoke you said
things like “blue busses remind me of Easter”
and “God lives inside the walls of art museums”
two days before graduation you picked me up at 4 AM
and we drove down to Michigan, I told you about my
sister and you told me about winters in Connecticut
when i left for college, i wrote you three poems and
handed them to you in white envelopes, you gave me
sea shells you found when you were thirteen and alone
he tastes bitter and i still think about your laughter
i wonder if you look for the moon on broken nights
because my skin burns when strange boys touch me
when i received the invitation to your wedding,
i took a shower and boiled myself into patches
of pain, then i called and said congratulations
she looked beautiful at the wedding and i got
drunk off of red wine and told your mother how
you used to cry when people called you brave
we talked once, you told me you haven’t read
my poems yet and asked if i still had your sea
shells, i told you i was supposed to be in white
i moved to Australia and three years later i
received an apology letter from you which
i burned and then wouldn’t sleep for weeks
i still think about you on nights when my
husband is sleeping and my black lungs
want cigarettes i promised to stop smoking
i saw you in my dreams last night, you
were kissing my neck and stroking my
thighs and i woke up crying in sweat
i went to your funeral last Thursday night,
you were always talking about Autumn so
i didn’t think you should have died in winter
i cut my hair short before visiting your grave
because i didn’t want anyone to recognize me,
i left your sea shells and cried on the way home
confessions from my alcoholic mother (via 2977miles)